George : Tally-ho, pip-pip, and Bernard’s your uncle!
Capt Blackadder : In English we say ‘good morning’.
George : Look what I got for you sir! It’s the latest issue of King and Country. Oh, damn inspiring stuff! The magazine that tells the Tommies the truth about the war!
Capt Blackadder : Or alternatively, the greatest work of fiction since vows of fidelity were included in the French marriage service.
George : Oh come, come sir! You can’t deny that this fine newspaper is good for the morale of the men.
Capt Blackadder : Certainly not. I just think that more could be achieved by giving them some real toilet paper.
George : Not with you at all, sir. What could any patriotic chap have against this magnificent mag?
Capt Blackadder : Apart from his bottom?
George : Yes.
Capt Blackadder : Well, look at it! The stuff’s about as convincing as Doctor Crippin’s defence lawyer! The British Tommies are all portrayed as six-foot-six with biceps the size of Bournemouth!